


Linger

by YlvaUllsdotter



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Dean Winchester - Freeform, F/M, Fanfiction, Kissing, One-Shot, Pining, Reader Insert, SPN - Freeform, Sam Winchester - Freeform, Supernatural - Freeform, reader - Freeform, y/n
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-06 23:53:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15896691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YlvaUllsdotter/pseuds/YlvaUllsdotter
Summary: Dean knew it was wrong from the beginning, but he couldn’t help himself. And now he sees your pale blue eyes every time he closes his own.





	Linger

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [@time-travel-bouqet’s](https://time-travel-bouqet.tumblr.com/) 200 follower challenge. My prompt was [Pale Blue Eyes by Velvet Underground](https://youtu.be/PK4DeMYtumc). I used the lyrics of the song as inspiration for the story. I struggled with this one for weeks. I knew what I wanted to write, but the words just wouldn’t come. I still am not happy with it, but there you are. I apologize for nothing.

It was a terrible idea from the get-go and Dean would probably never stop beating himself up for going ahead with it in spite of everything. The Impala coasted down the road, the headlights the only source of light for miles. Whenever he looked up at the night black sky, her pale blue eyes floated there, the expression in them unreadable.

Dean angrily ripped the bowtie from around his neck and threw it on the seat next to him. It had been all his fault, he owned that, but it hardly made it any better. He should have kept his feelings in check; should have kept things professional, instead of acting like a love-sick teenager with a crush.

Jerking the wheel around, Dean pulled the car over and came to a stop in a cloud of dust. The door creaked as he threw it open and bolted from the confines of the car. He strode to the far side of the vehicle, staring out into the black Kansas night, taking deep breaths of the crisp autumn air. He wanted to punch something.

* * *

_**A week earlier…** _

“Dean. So nice to see you again. The usual?” Y/N’s voice greeted him as he slid onto ‘his’ stool at the bar. He smiled at her, a practiced expression that revealed nothing of how his heart jumped just at the sight of her. 

“Yeah, thanks, Y/N. You know me so well,” he answered her as she slid the shot glass and a pint over to him. “What’s new, sweetheart?” he asked, as he always did. Y/N always had the best gossip, keeping tabs on the whole town of Lebanon, and the surrounding areas, on account of being the best bartender in the county. 

He listened to her relate the latest gossip, in between serving the other patrons, but half his mind was busy processing the sound of her voice and the way her lips curved when she spoke. He hated himself for it, but at the same time, he was helpless to stop. She was so different from the usual women he would pick up in bars, but it was the difference that attracted him. 

“...you say?” her tone clearly said that she had asked him a question and Dean scrambled to dig the full wording from his malfunctioning brain. Something about an event of some sort? 

“I’m sorry, what?” Dean gestured vaguely to blame the noise of the bar for not hearing what she said.

“My cousin’s wedding. Bill can’t stand my family, and if I show up alone...well let’s just say it would be bad. So I thought maybe you could be my date. What do you say?” her smile almost blinded him and he found himself nodding before he even had time to think about it.

“Sure, I’d be happy to help out my best friend. Just let me know when,” he managed to smile and act natural, all while his insides were shifting. What had he just got himself into?

All week, Dean had agonized over this ‘date’. She had been abundantly clear that they were going as friends, he was not expected to pretend to be her boyfriend or anything, but the whole thing still made him feel like he had butterflies the size of bulldogs roiling around inside him. He tried talking to Sam about it, but his brother had just been annoyed that Dean was taking time for a party when they had cases lined up and research to do.

Finally, Dean had dug out the tux he had used for that undercover thing with Bela. It was a bit tight around the middle, but it fit well enough. He had rolled up outside her house at eight o’clock sharp and watched her kiss her husband goodbye on the front step before she got in the car. He gave a wave to Bill as they pulled away.

The conversation in the car had been a bit one-sided at first, but Dean finally kicked himself mentally and managed to act somewhat normal, even though she was sitting there not two feet away in a dress that hugged her curves in all the right places. Her hair was up and Dean had to draw on all his willpower to not just lean over and put his mark on the smooth skin of her neck. The car filled with her scent and he breathed it in like he was drowning.

All too soon they were pulling up in front of her cousin’s house. Dean hurried around the car to hold the door open for her as she slid out. In her heels, she was almost as tall as Dean, and he had to mentally slap himself to stop staring into her pale blue eyes. Like a gentleman, he offered her his arm, and they followed the colored lanterns around to the backyard.

Dean spent most of the evening just quietly staring at Y/N as she mingled with her family. The ceremony was a blur, all he was aware of was the heat of her body right next to him. Too soon it was time for dancing and toasts. Dean, not knowing anyone there, other than Y/N, found himself a spot out of the way and nibbled on the finger foods. 

He had a feeling his whole face lit up as he watched her come towards him. She took his hand and pulled him along behind her.

“I need some air,” she muttered.

Dean happily followed, just glad to be in her presence and not even reflecting on her need for air at an outdoor event. She stopped around the side of the house, her chest rising and falling with her deep breaths. With the house on one side and a tall hedge on the other, she was a silhouette in the faint light that filtered in from the street lamps.

He put his hand on her arm, ignoring the burning of her skin against his palm. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Family,” she scoffed. “There’s a reason I hate going to these things. The only reason I’m here is that my cousin and I were best friends when we were little. Practically grew up together,” she explained. 

Dean slid his hand down to hers, twining their fingers together. He smiled, even though he knew the darkness would hide it.

“Breathe. It’ll be ok. Don’t let them get to you,” he prompted her, keeping his voice soothing. 

When she leaned back against the wall, he followed, their hands still connected. He felt her body shift, then her hand against his face.

“You’re right. The only reason I let them get to me is that they’re family and I love them. Even when they’re being narrow-minded jerks,” she sounded calmer, and he could tell she was smiling as well.

Without either of them moving or doing anything, the air between them seemed to thicken with tension. In that one moment, everything changed. 

They were two shadows in the darkness. Did she pull him closer? Or did he move first? Dean would never be sure. What was certain was that their two shadows had merged to become one. The kiss was hesitant at first, but the feeling of her lips against his...Dean had pressed against her, both hands cradling her face as he poured every ounce of feeling for her into that kiss.

At first, she had been completely still. Just as Dean was about to pull away and apologize, her hands had pulled him closer, one cupping the back of his neck, the other twining in the short hair at the back of his head. She had kissed him back with passion. Her tongue quested for entrance and his lips parted eagerly to let her in. The taste of her made Dean lightheaded and he clung to her like a drowning man clings to the last piece of a sinking raft.

When they, at last, had to break away or pass out from lack of oxygen, the sound of their breaths filled the darkness. It finally hit Dean what he had done and he wanted to sink through the ground straight into Hell. As he drew in a breath to speak, he felt her finger across his lips, silencing him.

Her shadow looked over towards the party, shrugged, and turned to the light. Dean almost flinched away when he felt her fingers grab his hand, but he let her pull him along to the car.

Complete silence covered the ride back like a thick blanket, both of them staring intently out the windshield. No word was spoken as he pulled up in front of her house. She got out of the car and he thought she was going to just walk out of his life without a word when she turned and leaned down to look through the open window.

_ “Nothing happened,”  _  her look said. Dean started to speak, but she held up a finger and silenced him. She gave him another pointed look, then turned and walked up to the front door of her house. Through the window, Dean could see the flicker of the television, where her husband was likely watching football. He felt all of an inch tall.

* * *

He leaned against the side of the car, his head falling back against the shiny black roof. He stared blindly up at the black night sky. All he could see were her pale blue eyes, the expression in them unreadable.


End file.
